Appendix A – About Our Services (with thanks to our families who compiled it!) 

Feel free to edit a version of this for your guests and send it with your invitation. 

[Name’s] B’Mitzvah – What to Expect 

Feel / Vibe: Services at IKAR can feel less formal than at other houses of worship.  Don’t feel that you have to sit in your seat for three hours. It is normal and fine for people to get up, walk around, stand and chat in the back, get coffee in the foyer, and take a stretch.  

Attire: IKAR is an eclectic community – there will be suits, jeans, dresses and more – really anything goes. IKAR skews more casual than most synagogues.  

Kippot: A kippah (aka yarmulke, plural “kippot”) is worn by many Jews as a sign of humility while praying or learning.  You should not feel pressure to wear a kippah, but you are welcome to.  You don’t need to be Jewish to wear a kippah and people of all genders can wear one. They will be found in a basket inside the entrance to the service. 

Tallit: A tallit is a shawl that is often worn by Jewish adults during prayer.  [Name] will be wearing theirs for the first time as they are called to the Torah on Shabbat. 

Electronics: It’s customary to power down on Shabbat – please plan to turn off or silence your phones.

Participation: A Jewish service is not a performance, so please don’t clap a speech, even if you are feeling really proud!  Instead, you can shout “Mazel tov!” or “yash-er ko-ach” (lit. translated as “go in strength!” which roughly means “way to go!”). Sometimes if Jews really agree with something, they will say “pshhhhhhh” afterward; so if you hear that, that’s what that is.

Clapping along with the singing, by contrast, is strongly invited!

After [Name] has read from the Torah, chanted Haftarah and given a short teaching (called a Drash), people will come around with baskets of candy. Take a piece of candy and prepare to throw it when the time comes (you’ll know when it is time)….

At certain points, the rabbis leading the service will ask the congregation to stand up or sit down and will sometimes call out page numbers in the prayer book so you can follow along.  Aside from sitting or standing when asked, you do you.  You’ll hear others chime in with Hebrew, say “amen,” sometimes, bow sometimes, and break into song.  There is absolutely no pressure for you to sing along or be on the “right” page.  There’s a lot to take in, and this community can feel raucous at times — so roll with it in any way that feels good to you.