B’Mitzvah at IKAR are true celebrations for our entire community and reflect the culmination of several years of study, reflection and action. They also mark the beginning of a mature long-term commitment to a meaningful relationship with Judaism, the Jewish people, and the world. 

Are You Ready For This? 

Limudim – our Children’s Learning Program – begins at Pre-K, and we encourage you to start as early as you can, for the sake of full integration into our community, a strong sense of identity and the most comprehensive learning. We ask our B’Mitzvah to be part of Limudim for a minimum of 2 years prior to their chosen date. If your family joins IKAR later than that, our Director of Education will meet with you to make a plan in order to help you best prepare. 

IKAR B’Mitzvah generally occur when a student turns 13 years old. 

In some situations, given a student’s educational background and life experiences, it might be best to wait a year or more after the 13th birthday in order to ensure that the student is prepared intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, and developmentally for the experience. 

Our team meets with every family to make sure the student is on the road to acquiring the knowledge and skills necessary to become a B’Mitzvah at IKAR. 

Readiness is determined jointly by the IKAR clergy, the Director of Education, the parents, and the student. 

During their 4th grade, each student receives an application with a list of available dates and a deadline for returning the application. Families choose three potential dates for the B’Mitzvah. Applications received by the deadline will receive a confirmed date soon after; applications received after the deadline will be given dates in the order they were received.

B’Mitzvah are marked by you standing before the Torah, your family, your friends, and your community, demonstrating that you are ready to begin to transition into adulthood and become a responsible member of our community and the world. But before you stand before those gathered to witness your transition, you’ll do a lot of sitting … because becoming a B’Mitzvah involves preparation – some of it fun and some of it challenging, some of it with your peers and some of it solitary – but all of it pointing you towards taking your place as a brand new Jewish teen. 

1. Learning Torah and Haftarah 

1. Writing a Drash 

1. Engaging in Meaningful Tzedek/Justice Work 

Tutors teach you how to chant your Torah and Haftarah portions, all the blessings associated with the Torah service and the parts of the Torah service that you will lead. IKAR has a group of private tutors from whom you can choose, with a sliding scale of costs.  You will be matched with your tutor by Hazzan Hillel Tigay. Please note: tutors are hired at the family’s expense. 

IKAR-approved tutors understand that we expect them to be in steady communication with us to monitor your progress and support your learning process. Everyone on our list has a proven record of success with students and numerous resources to help prepare you. And they are great people, too. 

If you have a favorite tutor of your own you wish to work with, please request this at your first family meeting (see below). Hazzan Hillel Tigay will need to meet with them before they begin teaching you so as to ensure their style fits with our requirements. 

The Process 

• This begins with a family meeting with Rabbi Silver, about a year out from your B’Mitzvah date. 

• The next step is that Hazzan Hillel Tigay will match you with your tutor. You should begin meeting your tutor from then on approximately once a week.  Your tutor and your family will set up times and dates. 

• In order to make sure your preparations are humming along, Hazzan Hillel Tigay will be monitoring your progress through periodic updates with your tutor. 

• Approximately three months prior to your B’Mitzvah, Hazzan Hillel Tigay will meet with you to review your progress on your Torah and Haftarah portions. If he finds that you need greater attention/focus in order to be better prepared, you and your parents will be contacted and a plan to help you will be put in place. 

• Approximately one month prior to your B’Mitzvah Rabbi Deborah Silver will meet with you to review your progress on your Torah and Haftarah portion. 

• A week or two prior to your B’Mitzvah, you will meet again with Hazzan Hillel Tigay or Rabbi Silver for a full rehearsal with the Torah scroll you will be using. 

Of course, if you need to check in at any other time, we are always here for you.  Please contact our clergy assistant, Ivy Sears ([email protected]) to set up a time to chat. 

IKAR has a list of approved tutors, so parents must speak with the Music Director BEFORE beginning tutoring. Our B’nai Mitzvah Assistant will connect you around 14 months before the Bat/Bar/B’nai Mitzvah but please reach out if you would like your child to start their learning sooner.

Our Music Director will suggest a tutor based on conversations with you and our education team. Rates range from $50 – $150 per session, depending on the duration and the tutor’s level of experience. As with all aspects of participation at IKAR, please be in touch if you are concerned about financial constraints impacting the tutoring process. If there is a family member with whom you would like your child to study, please speak with our Music Director so he can speak with them to ensure that they are able to meet the needs and expectations of B’nai Mitzvah preparation at IKAR.

Your child will check in with the Music Director three months and one month before the B’nai Mitzvah to monitor progress. During the week prior to the service, you will meet to review the choreography of the service.

Our Rabbis, Hazzan Tigay and our tutors are committed to helping all our students find the best way to prepare for and express becoming B’Mitzvah. If a student has a special consideration that affects his/her/their ability to learn, please be in touch with Rabbi Silver at the time you complete your application for a B’Mitzvah date, so that we can discuss ways of attaining our shared goals well in advance. 

Your Torah portion, or parshah, has been part of the conversation the Jewish people have been having with each other for a few thousand years. You are a 12-year-old in Los Angeles, but you may soon be agreeing with an elder who lived in Spain at the time Columbus set sail, or disagreeing with a Rabbi who lived in Minsk or Pinsk just down the road from a great‐great‐great‐grandmother or…who knows! 

As you take your place in this lively and crowded conversation your team will be our rabbis, your parents, and the text itself. Beginning 4-5 months before the ceremony, you will be matched with either R’Jensen, R’Panitz or R’Silver to help you prepare a Drash approximately 5 minutes in length (800 words) that expresses your voice and your thoughts on your parshah.  Meetings take place in person or on Zoom by arrangement with your clergy person.  Family does not need to be present for these meetings. 

“Every Jew, and the individual Jew, can survive only through intimate attachment to involvement in the community.” 

Abraham Joshua Heschel, The Insecurity of Freedom  

As Jews, we are committed to using our gifts and resources to bring healing, justice, and love to the world. The calls to gemilut hasadim (love), tzedek (justice) and mishpat (right action) are central to our understanding of what it means to be a Jew and a human being alive today. That’s why the tzedek project is a critical part of your B’Mitzvah experience.  

Our tzedek work is made up of individual and communal commitments. Our Limudim students work together on communal Tzedek projects during their Kitah Zayin (7th grade) year and develop a shared project with classmates on which they work during Limudim time. This is an opportunity to delve deeply into Jewish teachings around different issues of justice. 

Tzedek Project 

In addition to the communal project, we ask you to identify an area of personal interest and find an organization working to make change in that area. You then determine a way to use your B’Mitzvah to support that organization.  Some students commit to raising funds.  Others set up collections (clothing, equipment, toys etc.) to donate to their organization.  Others decide in advance what percentage of their money gifts they will donate after the B’Mitzvah ceremony is over.   

Students who are in Jewish Day School and do not attend Tuesday Limudim will engage in a more robust individual Tzedek project of at least 10 hours over the course of the year leading up to the B’Mitzvah. 

When meeting with the rabbis in advance of the B’Mitzvah, students will be asked to share their Tzedek project experiences.